19 October 2007

it's trying time again

Today, I shall try to adjust my short-term expectations. I've wanted to do too much, dizzyingly so. I've wanted to start and complete too many knitting projects, read too many books at once, and write too many words.

I have, actually, knitted 2 1/2 chemo hats, played with some lace patterns, and unearthed the sock I abandoned a few weeks ago. I've read Anne of Green Gables and a few chapters of The Madwoman in the Attic, as well as some short stories. I've written some letters. I've also gotten myself to work, (almost) every day.

I'm exhausted.

Anxiety and racing thoughts don't make anything better. Perhaps my hypersensitivity is hardwired, but so is my intelligence - so maybe I can (at least) be mindful of this moment, this reality, and this dollop of energy.

Wish me luck.

12 comments:

amy said...

Good luck, friend.

KnitNana said...

I do wish you luck. And the time to step away and say, this isn't what I want. How do we load ourselves with so much? I'd hazard a guess most of us want to do it...all those things we do enjoy. But they become pesky things that we somehow feel coerced into doing...even when we like the idea when we started...

Breathe deep. And then again. There is only now.
(((hugs)))

Becky said...

I just saw a button that said: Slog Along, This is just a hobby.

I went to see what it was about but couldn't find it. Sometimes we just have to sit back and let it all go for a while.

It's Me...Maven said...

Just. Be.

The rest is superfluous.

Jennifer said...

As a fellow anxiety sufferer, I feel your discomfort. Try to remember to pay attention to your breathing. It helps me a lot. Also, take a walk or sit for a moment outside, weather permitting. That always helps a little too.

Donna Lee said...

Ahh, anxiety. The silent taker-of-breath. I wish you peace within this energy. And the mindfulness necessary to keep track of the things around you. Be careful with yourself.

Carrie K said...

Good luck and when you figure it out? Let me know. I have so many things I want to do that I've spent my day on the computer not doing any of them. I did run across another project I'd forgotten I had.....

Deep breath! Finish Madwoman yet? [cackles wildly].

Will Pillage For Yarn said...

That can be such a frenetic, distressing place to be in. Scattered, ungrounded and difficult. I wish you peace.

Helen said...

Peace to you. There is great beauty in simplicity.
-Helen

Khadijha Caitlin said...

Good luck! I know you'll pull through : )

Paula said...

Wow, you have accomplished quite a bit.
I am always buried beneath all that I want to do and get quite depressed by how the clock seems to move at such a faster pace each year.
I wish the earth would just sit still for awhile so I can at least finish what I started this month.
Hugs to you my friend, may we survive the earth together.

Paula said...

P.S. I still can not get past the second chapter of Madwoman.
I feel it will haunt me.
although I still laugh when I think of the first line of the first chapter of that book!