Giving advice is not my strong point. Neither is receiving advice. However, my new therapist gave me some advice that I do want to share:
Take one day at a time.
Cynical as always, I rolled my eyes when she said this. Platitude, I thought. "What does that mean?" I asked.
The reason I went (back) into therapy is that I've been seriously depressed about having to retire, being pushed out of my career. When I wrote "I'm ready" in October, I was not telling the truth, neither to myself nor you, dear readers. Instead, I was distancing myself by saying things like "I'll buy myself a spinning wheel when I retire," or, "my kind is extinct." (Not that these things didn't seem true at the time, and may still be true.) They distanced me from the inevitable existential questions: Who am I? Who will I be when the primary meaning of my life - working - no longer applies? Why bother?
These questions kicked me hard. Very hard. Right through the therapist's door, in fact. There I heard the platitude and realized how wise it really is.
I'd been torturing myself (one of my favorite hobbies, by the way) for nothing.
Take one day at a time.
I don't have to decide what to do, how to be useful, how to use the rest of my days - not today. I'm not falling down a rabbit hole. I'm not leaping into a bottomless, black ocean. I'm simply leaving my job, and I don't have to decide immediately what to do with all of the days before me. I only have to deal with tomorrow. One day at a time.
Anyway, let's have a little fun with Friday Fill-ins.
1. Wait! Wait, don't forget to bring in the dog and put out the cat.
2. Home-made gingerbread followed at once by vanilla ice-cream is a recipe for bliss.
3. The trouble is calories make you fat.
4. Paris is many miles away. I want to go there. I want to learn French before I go. I want to write at a cafe with a blue Waterman pen, sip tea and watch people. If all this sounds cliched, I don't care -- get your own fantasy!
5. It started with a faint pop and unleashed a tremendous whoosh of smoke and a truly pissed-off genie.
6. The Haunting is shadowy and ominous.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to finishing a cowl in luscious Malabrigo, tomorrow my plans include my usual Saturday morning time at Barnes & Noble, and Sunday, I want to try out yet another spinning wheel! (Maybe an Ashford Kiwi. Or maybe the Ashford Joy, again, which does seem to be calling me even though I haven't been able to do anything but spin fleecy brains on it.)