I'm exhausted. When the seasons change, my body seems to go into shock, and it begins to parade all of its tics, one at a time. Stomach problems. Migraines. Depression. Fibromyalgia. Arthritic stuff. Exhaustion.
This year, depression and exhaustion are the main events. Depression has been my lot since childhood - everlasting, a product of wiring, chemistry, and temperment. From it flows much of the rest, plus uncomfortable, jittery swings the other way. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but how can one be complacent about something that has muffled so much of life?
So I need to take a breath and contemplate the good stuff.
my husband
my friends
my home
reading
writing
knitting
(Last night, I dragged out some leftover Moda Dea sock yarn and a set of DPNs, cast on 60 stitches, managed to back them onto 4 needles, and knitted 5 rounds. It's awkward and clumsy, but it's do-able. I see that now. I shall practice until The Mannings send me a sock pattern that I read about on Bridget's blog, and then I'll get busy.)
rabbits
dark green velvet
violets
tulips
amber
(Recently, Stephanie mentioned the Amber Room to me. I've always been fascinated by amber, especially if it has inclusions - an insect's wing, say, or even an air bubble. Now I'm becoming a little obsessed.)
cute socks
(Diane Ackerman once wrote a little piece in Oprah's magazine, and she mentioned her love of cute socks. Until I read that, I didn't feel comfortable about broadcasting that particular love. Now I do. Literally, I do not own a pair of socks that does not have animals, vegetables, flowers, people, stripes, cartoon characters, or other patterns. I even have a pair of Hello Kitty socks! Life is too short for dull socks.)
And if life is too short for dull socks, there's hope.
10 comments:
OK ... I'm starting to wonder if perhaps we might be related ... 'cause your list and your comments, well ...
Life is too short for dull socks. I absolutely agree.
I'm with you. Focusing on the good things, whatever they are for each of us, is part of the very important process of keeping it all together. That's a lovely list.
Hang in there! Sorry to see you're leaving your admin post at KTC. Take good care of yourself.
Such a nice list of good things -- and a very nice way to cope with life's trials.
Thanks for sharing.
Ah, M. No surprises in what you deal with every season change (sounds too familiar - are we sisters from different parents?) - Yes. You list is wonderful, and sometimes I, too, get right down to listing those things that matter most - especially no dull socks (tho' I must admit I've come to that preference in the past year only!)
((((hugs))))) dear friend!
I completely understand the challenges of depression. God bless you with calm and peace.
:)
Yeah! You can do it!
I am here cheering you on as you work the 4 needles!
You can't see, but I am even giving you the cyber sock wave! ;)
I've suffered from depression since childhood as well - I hope your fog lifts soon.
Good luck with the socks - a new world of knitting happiness awaits you!
Dull socks - who needs 'em? Most of mine cost a dollar a pair - stripes, glitter, cats, monkeys. One pair, with funky retro circles in blue, green, and white, exactly matches my makeup bag. Take care of yourself, Spring is coming, and someday you and I will finish our first knitted socks:).
-adrienne:)
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