being the second meme from the Queen

You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can't live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it?
My knitting! Alas, I can not convince anyone to go back for it because without nice, sharp needles, no one will respect my authorita. Not until we get back to earth, that is, because I will hunt each and every one of them and stab him until he has more dimples than a golf ball.

Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the "challenging bad butt kids" class (remember this is a pretend school and anyway I can't say ass on my blog 'cause it's so unQueenly and I might get fined or something).
They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you.

What is the first thing you would write on the board?
Don't hurt me.

Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile?
How would you handle it?
I would leave many comments. MANY, MANY comments. Limericks, even.

If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on?
A little packet of extra-strength Tylenol.

President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve?
Lemonade and bread pudding. I'm sure they're sick of people who try to impress them with fancy food.


You walk in on your lover. They are trying on your clothes. What do you do?
Cry, because they look better in them than I do.

Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can't enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences.
#2, because it would enable numbers 3 and 4. Mustn't be greedy and expect #1 as well.

being the first Queen's Meme

Once upon a time in a faraway Bloggiverse there lived a maiden named Queen Mimi Pencil Skirt. She slayed her own dragons, stoked her own fire and well.....wrote memes by the light of the Bloggingham moon.

1. You are in court. You are in deep doo-doo. What did you do?('Cause if you want, I might could talk to the judge and get your sentence reduced to Bloggingham dungeon time.)
I cheated at the Royal Games. (I've always been bad at Parcheesi.)

2. Your blog just became a best-selling book . What is the title of your book ? Teabird Talks Tofurkey.

3. It is midnight. the phone rings. It is Michael Jackson calling from the Great Beyond. What would you like to ask him?
Did you really go to bed with Liz Taylor?

4. You are having your future told. The fortune teller looks in the crystal ball, screams and leaves the room in fright. What did they see?
My secret plan to clone Emily Dickinson.

5. You're blogging along minding your own blusiness (that's blog + oh...you know) when Google unexpectedly puts a Objectionable Content Warning on your blog. Your own mother is afraid to enter! What, pray tell, did you do to warrant it? How did this happen? Do you think you deserve it? Just how objectionable are you? Do tell.
Someone must have taken umbrage when I said that Microsoft is the antichrist.

6.You suddenly become God of the Universe. What would your first Commandment be?
Neither human nor yarn shall ever snarl again.

7.And finally... what secret would you like to tell the Queen? Not to worry. What happens in Bloggingham, stays in Bloggingham.

Brevity is the soul of wit. (I stole that.)

(I found this new meme via Autumn. Cool, yes? Click here to play along!)